Tuesday, December 3, 2013

Bark Busters Review Englewood, CO

Contact Info:
Bark Busters
250 W Lehow Ave # B
Englewood, CO 80110
(303) 471-4935

If you're a pet owner you probably feel the same way I do in considering them part of the family.   I love my dog but recognized he needed some training to become social again. Since my dog was bitten by another dog a year and a half ago, he has been extremely afraid of other dogs.  I ended up finding Bark Busters (a dog training facility) via the internet and arranged an appointment.   For the price of $418 I purchased a year contract, 3 meetings into the contract it became apparent that the trainer assigned to me had never dealt with a dog aggressive animal.  For what it's worth, I may have been her first client judging by her level of professionalism and overall attitude.  When I voiced my concerns about her qualifications, an arrangement was made to work with their head trainer at their office in Englewood.   There I went through the exact same thing, wasting time with individuals who were not as qualified as they promised.
Bark Busters is a company who franchises their name and dog supplies to anyone willing to sign up.  It's sort of like becoming an insurance salesman, as long as you personally front the money to represent their name, you have a job.  So essentially what you get is someone who watched the Dog Whisperer and said, "Hey I could do that".  Overall it was the worst $400 I've ever spent in my life.
What I can tell you if you are looking for a trainer to help curb your dog's bad behavior, please check out Comet Canine.  After the God awful experience with Bark Busters a friend of a friend told me about Nish at Comet Canine.  Less than a month into the training Nish has helped my puppy become the friendly dog he was prior to being bitten.  If you have dog problems go see this dude, best money I've ever spent.

Cheers!

Categories:  Dog Trainers, Dog Training, Who to avoid

Colorado Ski & Golf Review Aurora, CO

Contact Info:
2650 South Havana
Aurora, CO 80014
(303) 337-1734

For the most part, I always been a supporter of small community skate and snowboard shops. That said the guys at Colorado Ski and Golf really went out of their way to help me out.
The pair of snowboarding boots I went there to purchase were out of stock in my size and at all locations. Instead of saying "Sorry" and sending me on my way they gave me the next step up from the Salomon's I went there for. So instead of getting the Salomon's I wanted for $219, they gave me the top of the line Salomon's they had which were priced at $300 for $200.
It doesn't end there either, I asked them to do a double heated form fit and they didn't charge for that either.

Zoinks! This place is well worth a stop.

Categories:  Snowboard Gear, Ski Rental, Ski Wear, Snowboards, Cool Shit

Car Toys Review Aurora, CO

Contact Info:
13720 E Mississippi Ave
Aurora, CO 80012
(303) 743-9991

Alright so time for the good, this chain does carry some great brands, Alpine, Kenwood, uhhh and it pretty much ends there.
Now for the bad, I called to get a quote on what the installation fee would be on a CD player for a car I just purchased.  They told me that it could be anywhere from $30-$120 but the tech really needed to see the vehicle in order to give me an accurate quote.  No big deal right, of course not, I appreciate someone being honest with me instead of doing the smoke and mirrors routine.  Upon arriving to their store, a guy by the name of Mike introduced himself to me and asked how he could help.  Besides his used car salesman like appearance, and overwhelming scent of Drakaar Noir (or however the shit you spell that cologne's name) he was geared up to help me out.  Upon tracking down an install technician, the three of us walked out to my car so they could give me an accurate estimate.  The shop tech and Mike started talking back and forth about how "difficult these cars are to do installs on" They were really laying their act on thick, and it was a piss poor effort at best.  The shop tech let me know that he wouldn't be able to keep the factory wood trim on and would have to remove it.  Besides the fact they told me that they would essentially destroy the dash of my car leaving a huge gap where the wood trim would have been, but it would "only cost me $215 in parts and labor." Best part is he said it in that excited Billy Mays voice from the T.V. infomercials.  "Don't just get it clean, get it Oxy Clean!" Don't just grab it, GoPher it!"  Then he started rambling on about all these "special installation techniques" he would have to use because my car has an internal amplifier and so on .  Keep in mind, if your car comes with an internal amplifier and your stock speakers still sound really good, DO NOT BYPASS THE AMP.  That amp was placed there so you "the owner" could enjoy the best sound possible that your amp and speakers can provide.  All you need to do, or any install tech should do, is run a filter to your amplifier.  Upon doing this, your car will sound really damn excellent.  According to this douche muffin of an "install tech"  he said "If you don't bypass the amp, your car will sound like shit. I used to have a 2002 BMW 5 series and it sounded like crap when I tried to filter it and run it through the amp."  Wrong, that is an install tech being lazy and not wanting to run wires to the amp, from your CD player.
In conclusion their $215 install cost and the $200 CD player I wanted to purchase was an extraordinary rip off.
Instead, I went to Ebay and bought a CD player, "same one Car Toys was selling, but for $60 less" Then I bought the wire harnesses and mounting brackets from (I'm sad to say Wal-Mart) for $28 and installed the deck myself in about an hour and a half.  So minus the cost of the 2 beers I drank while doing the install, I saved around $240.  Oh, and my car still looks factory, and sounds great, so thanks for offering to tear off the wood trim in my new vehicle Car Toy's.
Good luck Car Toy's, I'm sure with business practices such as yours you will soon run your organization into the ground.

Categories:  Car Stereo, Mobile Phones, Auto Detailing, Douche Muffins


Global Career Management Review Denver, CO

Contact Info:
1675 Broadway
Denver, CO 80202
(303) 623-1770

Recently I decided to quit my job as a sales manager/headhunter with Robert Half International.  I'm a firm believer that if you no longer like the company you are working for or are unhappy, it's time to quit.
Upon submitting my two weeks' notice, I posted my resume on CareerBuilder.  Having worked in the headhunting/recruiting field for the past two years I know that a lot of opportunities can sprout up from this simple action.  The majority of the candidates I placed with my clients during my time with Robert Half were found via CareerBuilder.  Hands down the most enjoyable part about my job at Robert Half was helping my clients find the perfect candidate for a position they had open in their company.  If I did my job properly that meant the client, candidate, and I all had a smile on our face at the end of the deal.  The end result was usually the same, I helped save my client time and money, and I helped find someone a great job that fit into the scope of what they were looking for.
 While I know the intro to this review was long the reason for it should make sense in a moment.  Shortly after posting my resume on CareerBuilder, I received a phone call from Steve Brown the Vice President at GCM.  He began drilling me with questions like "Are you REALLY serious about your career search" and "Would you like to work with a company that will help you in your future salary negotiations?"  While we were on the phone I looked online for some reviews and info on GCM.  Around the time I realized that I was speaking with a scam artist I asked him some questions of my own.  I asked him if GCM is candidate or client paid organization, and either way how does GCM determine their markup. (Side note, a headhunter's markup is almost always based off this simple but overpriced formula. The client is charged 1% per $1000 of the candidate's yearly salary up to 30%)   GCM is paid via the candidates (Warning, to any of you looking to do business with a headhunter or recruiter, make sure they bill the client and not yourself)   Steve proceeded to explain to me that his firm specializes in career counseling and helping candidates come up with business plans.
The GCM business professional's a.k.a. (overpaid high school guidance counselors) offer to help you build your resume and review practice questions prior to an interview.  Unlike a headhunter, they do not offer to sell you to clients; all they offer is career counseling. They offered me these services for the small price of $5500 for a five month contract or $15000 for a year long contract of their "career assistance."
 These folks offer to help you write your resume and prepare for interviews you find yourself, for a price that has a comma in it!  Hey, here is an idea, use the internet or buy a book for around $10                       (I recommend First Year in Sales) that will arm you with better tools than what this organization offers.
If any of you decide to work with a headhunter make sure they bill the client for services rendered and not yourself.   Also, ask how many companies they have in their database that might be a good fit for your background.  Trust me when I say that that any honest headhunter or staffing manager will answer accordingly. Every reputable headhunting agency whether it be Aerotek, Spherion, or Robert Half abide by the principal that the client should pay for the headhunting service, not the candidate.
Good luck GCM, I'm sorry you weren't able to con me out of $5500.  Please, for the sake of the tax payers, who you will surely be asking for a bailout shortly, learn how to do business the right way. It's scamers like this that make white people look bad.

Cheers!

Categories:  Recruiters, Recruiting Agency, Job Search

Roto-Rooter Plumbing & Drain Services Review Denver, CO

Contact Info:
1550 Larimer St
Denver, CO 80202
(303) 666-0045

I think Roto Rooter must have read the reviews posted below mine because they have had a change in policy.
When you call Roto Rooter you are sent to a call center to schedule an appointment. They offer a free initial diagnoses/estimate. Even if you are not handy in the home maintenance department it's well worth the price of free to have them come out and help you troubleshoot the problem.
In my case I had come home from a wicked awesome day of snowboarding at Keystone only to find that I had a small pond in my living room and kitchen. Immediately I was praying it was my dog's fault that I had a couple of puddles in my house. For better or worse my dog didn't look shameful, so I pointed my finger at the next likely culprit. (The dishwasher that I had pressed the start button on before I took off that morning.
The plumber who showed up to my house gave me his professional advice where  the leak might be coming from and then gave me a price quote for the repairs. Needless to say the price of $400 for the repairs didn't make me smile, but the advice the plumber gave me had the result I was seeking.
He told me where behind the drywall the leak should be coming from and with that knowledge, I sent him on his way.
So the point of this story is that you should use Roto Rooter for their free estimate to help diagnose the problem. After the technician has left you now have the knowledge to do the repairs yourself, or armed with the correct terminology shop plumbers until you find a good price.
Moral of the story with Roto Rooters help my repairs ended up costing me a total of $49.47.
I spent $11.67 at Lowes for the PVC pipe, primer and glue, $32.93 for renting a steam cleaner to clean out the nasty water from my living room carpet, and $4.87 for the two beers I drank while doing the repairs.

Cheers!

Categories: Plumbing, Toilet Repair, Clogged Pipe, Wow I take big shits

H-Mart Review Aurora, CO

Contact Info:
2751 S Parker Rd
Aurora, CO 80014
(303) 745-4592

Well I'd never been to this store until yesterday, and I must say my experience was "wicked awesome!" This place incorporates a plethora of Asian cuisine preferences into one store.
Since I was at Rogers Park in Illinois, I haven't encountered this sort diversity. Forgive my ignorance Denverit's if this place doesn't meet your standards, but mind you I've been living in Montana for the last 6 years. (psst, not a lot of diversity up there in MT, but regardless an incredible state to live in.)
This store  is amazing and to quote Walter from The Big Lebowski these"Asian Americans" have put together one of the best stores I've been to in Colorado. The fresh produce alone makes this store well worth a stop. Noted not only for the freshness, but their incredible prices. Also, the seafood, noodle selection, sauce selection, are more incredible than the fact Michael Jackson hasn't had a cameo in any of the Transformers movies as of yet.
I love to cook so a trip to this place was to me what a coke heads vacation to Columbia might equal. Their selection of fish sauces, chili sauces, herbs, and selection of well just about anything you can imagine is incredible.

H-Mart, you are officially radical!

Categories:  Grocery, Asian Grocery


BC Surf & Sport Review Lonetree, CO

Contact Info:
8678 Park Meadows Ctr Dr
Lonetree, CO 80124
(303) 768-8908 or 1-800-dic-face

While I'm sure this store is staffed by some knowledgeable employees, hot girls, and excellent riders, I wish this franchise Ill. This company is nothing more than a Wal-Mart for the skateboarding and snowboarding industry. While I will admit this place probably has a better selection than most local skate shops, it lacks local spirit. Much like Zumiez they have taken the sport of skateboarding and whored it out for a dollar.
Keep in mind the next time you need a deck, shoes, or gear, where the dollars you spend are going. When you buy from a store like BC, your dollar goes towards some CEO's overpriced escort. When you buy from a local skate shop your money goes directly back into the community.
Most local skate shops sponsor local skate competitions, up and coming riders, host skate technique classes, and have local video showings.
I wish the best to 303 boards and the other shops here in CO, that are owned by true skateboard and snowboard enthusiasts.
Here is a another sweet note to about this weak sauce franchise.
There are a lot of online companies that pay individuals to write positive reviews for businesses who have acquired their service. Daytipper and FeedtheVillage are a couple companies that compensate individuals to write fake reviews for businesses. If you look closely at some of the reviews for chain companies such as BC, you might get the impression the writer was paid for their words.
Yes, I might sound like a conspiracy theorist but keep this in mind what I have wrote the next time you read a review that seems to have been written by a robot.

Categories:  Shit Box Skate Shops, and Baby Tiger Molesters  

24 Hour Fitness Review Aurora, CO

Contact Info:
4100 S Parker Rd
Aurora, CO 80014
(303) 699-2400

Going to the gym is not an enjoyable experience in my personal opinion. With this in mind if your on a budget and would still like to visit a third world country, this 24 hour location might be a cheap solution. (Too harsh, maybe.)
The positive attributes this gym offers is that during non-peak hours this gym is wide open. If you choose to enter this gym during the majority "after" working hours (5-8), it's a little crowded too say the least. However, the crowd is still very manageable. If you are a fan of treadmills, and other "hamster like" workout equipment they fill up quickly around peak hours.
Overall I give this gym a thumbs up, and in comparison to some of the other 24's I've visited it ranks the highest.
My only complaint about this gym is some of the tard-muffin/ wanna be UFC fighter employee's. "Hey dudes, I'm pretty sure nobody except yourself wants to see you spend your work-break shirtless and flexing in the locker room." I'm not trying to be funny here, there are a couple of employees that don't like missing an opportunity to eye-rape themselves in front of a mirror in the men's locker room.
For the two employees that engage in this activity, go make like David Carradine and choke yourself in a closet.

Categories:  Gym, Personal Trainers, Fuck me, I'm getting fat...time for a change

McDonough Thomas P MD Parker, CO and Aurora, CO

Contact Info:
1550 S Potomac Street
Aurora, CO 80012
(303) 750-1022

Since my childhood, I have been blessed with the opportunity of visiting a lot of ER's and surgeons. Don't misunderstand, I wasn't born with a hair lip or some rare form of bone cancer, I just have a zest for life. Between skateboarding, snowboarding, tree limbs with dead-rot, a lack of ability to do cartwheels, PBR (Pabst, not riding bulls), advanced Ninja training camp, lawn darts (yeah I'm talking about the good ones with heavy metal tips that were banned years ago) chasing dogs, getting bit by dogs, and poorly designed tree swings, I've got the chance to meet a few surgeons.
Dr. Thomas McDonough is an Orthopedic Surgeon who came very highly recommended. Oddly enough, I found out about Dr. McDonough when I was having surgery on my left ankle from a separate incident. The nurse (Ann Semple) who strangely happens to be the mother of a close friend of mine (Rob Semple) whom I met when I was living in Bozeman, MT.
Back to the meat of this story, I had torn a quadratendon in my left knee and believe it or not, it was hurting like a bastard.
Recalling the conversation I had with Ann Semple (who I should note is an excellent nurse located at the Centennial Medical Plaza) she had recommended Dr McDonough to me for any future problems I might cause to my person. Getting surgeon recommendations from a nurse, is about the best source this world has to offer. If Dr. McDonough was good enough in her eyes to perform surgery on her son, I was sure he would be a good pick to cut open my knee and fix things up.
He performed my knee surgery last September and I was able to be back on the mountain snowboarding by Thanksgiving. Not only did he repair my torn tendon, but he also found a calcium growth in my knee socket that hadn't shown up in any of the prior scans. After cutting that out, he stitched me up and I was able to get out of the hospital about 3 hours later.
Dr. McDonough works out of two locations, he has one office in Aurora off Potomac and Mississippi, and a second office at the Parker Medical Center.
This surgeon is kind of on the old school side of things so don't be offended if he doesn't come off as warm and fuzzy. But really, when your looking to have surgery that might help or hinder your abilities; do you want a surgeon who is extremely talented, or do you want someone to charm your socks off as if he or she was trying to sell you a car?
Thanks again Dr. McDonough, I appreciate the excellent work you did.

Category: Orthopedists, Doctors, Surgeons, Oh shit I broke my knee!


Shotgun Willie's Review Glendale, CO

Contact Info:
490 S Colorado Blvd
Glendale, CO 80246
(303) 388-9601

Paisley sunglasses, a towel cape, and a whole lot of disinfectant could have helped salvage this night. (for men) If you have been to a strip club or two in your life, you should know that going with lady-friends will increase your experience by 10 fold. With this in mind a couple of female friends and I payed our first visit to this establishment and felt very misled by my fellow fun seekers.
If I go to a strip club, I want to see strippers, not young coked out 18 year olds that are trying to compensate for their daddy issues.
I prefer my nude bars filled with "lifer" strippers, I'm speaking of women who see the time-line placed in front of them; and are eager to make as much money as possible before their C-Section scars look more like a Cambodian knife fight wound instead of a less painful method of childbirth.
SW, I give you a flaccid "I just accidentally slammed my wiener in a cupboard door" ranking.

Hey, where is the "good for kids" question on this review?

Category: Adult Entertainment, Strip Clubs, Shit, did I get robbed by a hooker?

Erik Thelander, DPM Review Centennial, CO

Contact Info:
14000 E Arapahoe Rd
Centennial, CO 80112
(303) 632-3668

How many times can you break your foot before you finally go see a surgeon? By my count the number is around four re-breaks and it's time to visit a specialist. It had gotten so bad that I could only skate for 20-30 minute intervals, and just about everything active I enjoy was becoming almost unbearable.
Thanks to Dr. Thelanders keen eye, he caught what the previous surgeon I met with missed. Due to repeat breakage, I had developed bone spurs on several joints in my foot.
Dr. Thelander is a fairly young, personable, and a very qualified surgeon. He did a great job on my surgery and had excellent follow up post-treatment.  His office is located in the the Centennial Medical Plaza just off Arapahoe and Parker.
Great job on my surgery Dr. Thelander, A + material and I'll see you next time I bust up an ankle.

Category: Podiatrists, Doctors, Oh Shit I broke my ankle again


Casa Bonita Review Lakewood, CO

Contact Info:
6715 W Colfax Ave
Lakewood, CO 80214
(303) 232-5115

Like so many of my fellow gullible consumers, I ended up in the cafeteria line at Casa Bonita due to the timeless South Park episode. I do feel like Matt Stone and Trey Parker should be receiving some royalties for their contribution to this places success; seems like almost everyone who has been here blames their reasoning on that magical episode. Cartman's experience at Casa Bonita leaves one with the impression that you too will have a Disneyland like experience. However, my experience here was much more comparable to what a child might experience visiting Never Never-land. It starts with some anticipation, excitement, confusion, and ends with a thumb up the butt.
It comes to be expected that with theme restaurants such as this that your not paying for quality food, you pay for the adventure/ambiance. With that in mind, the food totally sucks, there are a 1000 screaming kids and teenagers running through the restaurant, and I'm sad to report that Black beards cave didn't live up to the hype.
Overall though, I had a lot of fun, you yourself try to have a miserable time when there are so many other people surrounding you who are laughing and smiling. If you haven't already been, Casa Bonita is worth going to, but just once, sort of like the amount of times you should try meth.

Categories:  Mexican Food, Really MF Awful Food

India's Restaurant Review Denver, CO

Contact Info:
7400 E Hampden Ave
Denver, CO 80237
(303) 755-4284

R2D2 was once asked what his favorite Indian dish is, which he quickly replied "Be Chu Phpp Be Chi Bo Mrr."  R2D2 and I share one commonality when it comes to ordering Indian food, nobody except for the waiter understands what dish we are trying to describe.  With this on the table please forgive me for not being able to correctly remember and spell out what everyone at our table ordered.  What I can tell you though, we all shared our entrĂ©es with each other and I never found a bad bite.  I really did try to find one, as much as I ate, if there was a bad bite being served that evening it sure as hell wasn't at my table.
I ordered the Murgh Mussallum (a spicy curry chicken dish) and it was five miles past delicious.
I can't think of a single thing to complain about other than the salad that came in what appeared to be a metal shot glass.  Ambiance was great, staff was attentive, and the food was nothing short of excellent.  There was a level of mild stress that protruded from the waiters, what I assume was the result of a shorthanded kitchen staff.  So no points off for the delay in food arrival, it was out of their hands.  We weren't the only table who were encountering a long wait, and due to the fact it really wasn't that busy my heart goes out to our waiter who was sweating bullets about the amount of time it was taking for tickets to get cleared in the kitchen.

Stay Rad India's Restaurant!

Categories:  Indian Food, Pakistani Food, Good MF Eats!


K & G Fashion Superstore Review Denver, CO

 Contact Info:
1550 S Colorado Blvd
Denver, CO 80222
(303) 756-3478

Upon entering K & G I was approached by a sharply dressed employee who possessed a style that was straight out of a Versace catalogue.  This salesman, armed with Gucci Goggles, a suit that was more fit for Gargamel, (meaning it had a light blue-ish color and the unique looking texture of his suit appeared to be made from former occupants of Smurf Village), and the fact he had a matching Bluetooth for his gear made my defensive barriers immediately climb to immeasurable heights.  We discussed what I was looking for, he then asked me to take off my jacket, remove my pants, and then he informed me that he wanted to draw me on his Etch-O-Sketch while I was naked, wearing an eye patch, and eating some buttery corn on the cob.
Alright, alright, so none of that last part happened, but the point is that I made a solid connection with James, the above listed sales associate.  What did happen is that he was able to size me up without even needing to measure my arms, chest, or waist, and took me to a perfect fitting suit right away.  Nobody is offering me money to mention the suit brands I purchased so that detail is mute.  What is incredibly important is that James stayed around throughout the entire purchasing process.  Not to mention, he insisted I try on about 15 different suits before I went to the dressing room with my personal selections.  It is possible that James sensed my distaste of shopping for overpriced pieces of cloth and wanted to ensure that I bought something that could be appreciated by others years from now.
Regardless if James is paid off commissions or compensated via an hourly basis, his attention to detail and personality made my experience nothing short of top shelf.  It is a rare occasion that one encounters a sales person, who in all actuality is not a salesman.  In all honesty this sales associate James, made the normally uncomfortable purchasing experience transform into a comfortable and smooth transaction.
The suits and clothing offered at K & G are products that were overproduced and weren't able to be moved at typical department store prices and as a result; they found themselves on the racks of K & G.  Or at least that's what I gather from experience here.  But yes, it is advised that one should make close observations to the items they buy in order to confirm said items purchased are not defective products that should be on the shelves of a less reputable store.  Also, there is some truth to the statement that you get what you pay for.  Albeit, most pieces of clothing purchased all come out of the same sweatshop in Vietnam.    Please though, go with brands you trust and purchase what you personally think looks good.
For the men shopping at K & G I would strongly suggest that you do business with James, he really knows what he is doing and will take the time to ensure you have no buyer's remorse.  It should also be mentioned that the tailors here also do incredible work.  A thumbs up is well deserved to these underpaid and underappreciated employees.  By the way, James rocked his gear incredibly well, after speaking with him over the course of an hour, it was apparent that James, and only James, could pull off an outfit so tastefully.

Stay Goblet!

Categories:  Men's Clothing, Women's Clothing, Men's Suits, Dresses

The Breakfast King Review Denver, CO

Contact Info:
300 W Mississippi Ave
Denver, CO 80223
(303) 733-0795

Ah Breakfast King, I feel so guilty that I have misjudged you over the past couple years.  I've driven past you literally hundreds of times and mocked you, usually with thoughts like "You are not worthy of such a bold title, har! Breakfast King."   The Breakfast King title should be reserved for restaurants that offer meals like a bowl of Lucky Charms with two scoops of ice cream in the center, ice cold milk, a handful of chocolate chips sprinkled over the top accompanied by an omelet filled with sausage, pepperoni, mozzarella cheese, and smothered with tangy marinara sauce.  That's my vision of what a "Breakfast King" would and should be serving.
Recently though, I discovered that there is a great possibility that this place is indeed the Breakfast King of Denver.  For what it's worth I consider myself somewhat of a chicken fried steak expert and from my experience small Midwest cities consistently have some of the crispiest, large portion, artery clogging, sausage gravy smothered, deliciousness.  However, I think the Breakfast King has positioned itself into the top five best chicken fried steaks I have ever tasted.   Well played Breakfast King, well played.

Top Attributes of Breakfast King from my perspective:

1. Open 24 hours a day
2. Incredibly crispy and delicious chicken fried steak
3. Very friendly staff
4. Fast service
5. Several different hot sauces available

Categories:  Diners, Breakfast, Drunk Food, Last Call

L & L Hawaiian Barbeque Review Aurora, CO

Contact Info:
14221 E Cedar Ave
Aurora, CO 80012
(303) 340-8824

Dear L & L,

Much like a door to door hatchet wielding ice cream salesman, a game of lawn darts on a sunny day, or choosing L&L for lunch;  from my experience, an afternoon with any of you is a dangerous gamble.  It's not your fault L & L you are just gifted in playing a mean game of temptation that most cannot resist.  Offering large portions and a highly addictive set of seasonings that keeps all of us consistently returning with the hopes of finally catching the Hawaiian Dragon.  Every time I have made the decision to brave an afternoon with L & L it has ended in tragedy.  There is no way that I can avoid ordering the large size, of anything on their menu, and prevent myself from finishing the entire entrĂ©e in one sitting.

L & L, I love your barbeque but I'm not be trusted with your size "large" portions anymore.  Today after once again overindulging in your food, I ended up looking like a victim from the above listed game of lawn darts who glared anxiously into the sun for too long hoping to spot his last thrown dart.

Taste the ouch, at L & L.

Categories: Hawaiian, Barbeque, BBQ

Moose's Review Kalispell, MT

Contact Info:
173 N Main St
Kalispell, MT 59901
(406) 755-2337

Kalispell, a city which I will always feel fortunate to call home, mainly because of its surroundings, lack of Lunchboxes Per Capita, and people.  Although by no means was I, or ever will I be considered a Montucky native, this town will always have a special place in my heart.
The spot known as Moose's is one of the greatest indoor sites I have encountered during my six year tour of Montana.  The combination of its nostalgia, people, picture perfect staff, quality of food, and service provided, is flat out five miles past ridiculous.  I know it is hard for a reader to believe that there is good Pizza outside of Italy, New York, and Chicago; but the slices here at Moose's will not disappoint.  Hell, if it does, put it on my tab;  then go find the best pinecone the beautiful forests that surround Kalispell provides, and shove it, way up your butt "the non-nice way" (assuming there is one.)
Over the years, I have never had one bad experience at Moose's.  Regardless if I'm with family, friends, employer's, or just on a solo pizza pickup mission, this place is very admirable.
Thank you Moose's and thank you Kalispell, you're all supreme.

Category:  Pizza, Bar, Lounge

Spinnaker Casino Bar & Grill Review Lakeside, MT

Contact Info:

7210 US Hwy 93
Lakeside, MT 59922
(406) 844-2176

I love you more than I love a peanut butter Jelly sandwich packed with chocolate chips, whipped cream, and maple syrup.  From steaks, to sandwiches, drinks, and ownership; the Spinnaker is what every restaurant wishes it could be.   The Spinnaker is packed full of unique characters, strong drinks, and a plethora of temptations ranging from food, drinks, and gambling.
This is my favorite place in Montana hands down, (besides snowboarding at Glacier National Park, in the middle of the summer season?  Yup.)

Category:  Bar, Casino, Grill, Lounge

Modern Hair Design Review Aurora, CO

Contact Info:
10650 E Garden of Havana
Aurora, CO 80012
(303) 695-5653

I enjoy paying an exorbitant amount of money for a haircut, almost as much as I appreciate seeing a three legged dog run.  Both activities fill my head with moments of depression, and make me think "I wish there was something I could do that is ether related, to avoid being a part of either of these activities, ever again."  My preference regarding hair maintenance, (of course prior to being a filthy corporate surrender monkey); all year long; let my hair grow, come summertime, shave it all off, and repeat the following year.
 
All that aside, I stumbled onto this place the other day while I was looking for all things, a place to get my hair cut. While sitting in the super shinny barber chair I thought to myself "If I was Cap' N Crunch, who could I sleep with?" I'm absolutely terrible at offering a barber tips as how I would like my hair cut; my typical request is "please cut it a little bit shorter, and don't give me a fohawk or I will beat you with a condom filled with Clam Chowder until the sun sets on your bruised body."

Moving forward, I get to see a Binary Star develop about as frequently as I have enjoyed getting a haircut; however my experience here was ideal.  This place offers a fair price for a haircut, it was over quickly, and nobody at my office made fun of said haircut.  Overall, it was an ideal haircutting situation, that will no doubt, cause me to return again.   Hooray to the small business owners of Modern Hair Design.  I wish you, and your efforts at The American Dream, all the best.

Category:  Hair Salons, Barber Shop

German Car Shoppe Littleton, CO

 Contact Info:

5115 S Santa Fe Dr
Littleton, CO 80120
(303) 798-2287

A couple months back I made the poor decision to mix Scotch, with a minor engine rebuild.  It is common knowledge, that for best results, you drink beer when getting covered in dirt and oil, while playing the role of a qualified garage monkey.  Unfortunately, as the bottle of Macallan reached its halfway mark, my level of German Automotive repair hit a glass ceiling.
After spending two hours on "the internet machine" searching for tips, or guides which could help me solve the current puzzle before me, I found nothing.  Feeling defeated, I called numerous mechanics, seeking counsel or advice; but I was rewarded with nothing helpful.   By luck of the draw, the last phone call I made was to The German Car Shoppe.  If memory serves me correctly, Rob answered the phone and patiently listened to my dilemma.  Instead of responding to my issue with the fear inspiring rhetoric such as "hmm, doesn't sound good, we can get it towed down here and see if it can be fixed." or "it sounds like you probably need a new engine" Rob took an unexpected approach.  He laughed at my situation, stating that "if you got fifteen minutes, I can tell you how to fix this."  From memory, he walked me through a step which had stumped me for several hours.  As promised, in just under fifteen minutes Rob got me through this Rubik's Cube of a mechanical mystery.
The German Car Shoppe has earned themselves a lifelong fan.  If I ever find myself in a situation where my car is in need of professional help, it will be taken here. 

 

Category:  Auto Repair (German)

Journeys Aviation Review Boulder, CO

Contact Info:
 Journeys Aviatioin
3335 Airport Rd
Boulder, CO 80301
(303) 449-4210

This my friends, is a difficult review for me to write.  Why?  Because anytime one has the chance to coast through the skies, see this amazing world from a unique bird's eye view, become blessed with the responsibility to preserve life; one's desire is to give at least 5 stars to any firm that would allow for such excitement is natural.

I love to fly, as someone much wiser than myself once stated; "flying an airplane, is the most fun you can have with your pants on."  This is a statement that holds true for me today, and I must say the DA-40 that I elected to fly in, was a magnificent piece of aircraft and a testament to the Austrian's ability to create excellence.

While this was a trip with the intention of fun and logging hours in my flight book; I couldn't help once again notice the desperate attitudes of Journey's Aviation.  I will not bore you with the details regarding the minor bits of unprofessionalism; but I can tell you, there are better flight schools out there.    The flight itself, truly incredible, the instructor obviously much more talented than myself, the overall attitude; weaksauce.

It is a blatantly painful fact that the airline industry is struggling, jet fuel prices are 17 miles past retarded, and nearly every small aviation school is struggling.  That said, this school offers some beautiful aircrafts for rent, a gorgeous/calm airstrip location, and fairly reasonable aircraft rental rates.

Trust me though, you will receive the "used car salesman" push when you finish your flight.  They will attempt to get you to sign up for their "flight club" and encourage you to sign up for a yearly contract.  Very pushy instructors, providing an overwhelming waft of sales BS; but an overall a very enjoyable experience.  If they throw this spiel in your face and you have no spine for a solid rebuttal; just say that you are interested in learning how to smuggle parrots.  This statement should wrap things up rather quickly.

Categories:  Private Pilot Instructor

Pho 79 Review Aurora, CO

 Contact Info:
1080 S Havana St
Aurora, CO 80012
(303) 344-0752

Well rhinestones, horseshoes, and stars, the chefs at this place deserve free drinks at the bar.
Everything I had here was really fresh, the vegetables, noodles, and dare I say, meat.
I love soup, I love making it, the smell of it simmering, and most importantly eating it. While yes, like a lot of tasty food their soup is packed full of MSG. Frankly though, MSG makes just about everything taste better.
I first found out about the magical type of soup called "Pho" when I was sixteen and borderline needing to wear a helmet partied out in Portland. I'll be damned if it  wasn't excellent then and it's still the only food I've found that lives up to the statement "it contains the whole kitchen sink."
It's great soup because it allows you ability to customize your food, without having to order it from someone wearing a visor. You can get some pretty unique things put in your soup here from tendons, fresh basil, jalapenos, a shit ton of MSG, fat slices, and monkey paws. Alright, so you can't get monkey paws, but you can get just about anything else in your soup. Point is, you can keep your food as tame or as exciting as you want.
If  you had only $5 and a choice between a God awful generic Sub, with ultra bland water infused cold cuts, or a bowl of Pho with a lot of fresh vegetables and noodles, what would you pick? Well while you ponder that, I'm gonna pick the one that wasn't hand molested by a disgruntled and underpaid Subway employee.
Go ahead and be all high and mighty and look down on those of us who enjoy the hell out of MSG. However, the next time you eat a bag of Doritos why don't you take a look at that ingredient list on the back, while your licking the chip dust off your fingers.
Finally, for those of you who give little restaurants like this a bad review because "Like one time, I went there and they didn't have the same item I order every time, so I will never eat there again!" I order you, to nut up! Try living outside your normal routine, especially if you have contributed to cleaning a restaurant out of a popular item. How's about ordering something different, and don't be a pillow biter by slamming a restaurant for one unfortunate incident.

Thanks for the tasty soup tonight Pho 79, "May all your battles be fought with Tiger like reflexes."

By the way, I love Doritos, support our economy and eat a bag yourself.

Big Lots Review Aurora, CO

Contact Info:
7475 E Iliff Avenue
Denver, CO 80231
(303) 755-4127

Big Lots is a pretty vague name for a store that serves such specific shopping needs.   I think it should instead be called "Hoarder Starter Kit Store" or "Really bad birthday present from a friend, Lots" or "Big defective/poorly advertised product that never had a chance in the grocery store, store." Regardless how you personally choose to embrace Big Lots, it is easy to become overwhelmed with the product variety that this store offers.
A couple years ago I bought a bag of chips, called Rap Snacks!  That's right, Rap Snacks, and guess what flavor I purchased?  "Ol Dirty Bastard, Sour Cream and Onion."  That same month, Big Lots also introduced me to an energy drink called Resurrect, which tastes eerily of boiled Ham Water, Club Soda, and something else that I never could put my finger on.  If I had to guess, the secret ingredient is Truck Stop Urinal Mint.  By the way, don't answer "Yes." if I offer you some chips and an energy drink when you come over.
Big Lots is always worth a visit during special occasions, like after you saw a clown at your nephews party, and now you need something that will make you laugh, smile, or just to purchase an item that will broaden your culinary palate.  Thanks for keeping me surprised Big Lots.

Yard House Review Denver, CO

Contact Info:
1555 Court Place
Denver, CO 80202
(303) 572-9273

9 times out of 10, the Yard House knocks it out of the park.  Fast and friendly service, good food, solid beer selection, and most importantly food can find its way to your table quickly.  Another upside to the Yard House is that even during a busy lunch rush, you can be seated promptly on the patio or on the inside if you prefer.  The Yard House is doing so many things in a proper fashion that is hard to complain about much.

If you are sitting down here for lunch you can't go wrong with an Ahi Tuna Sandwich, any of their burgers; or if you have participated in too many acts of substance enthusiasm and just can't decide on one item, get a bunch of appetizers and split them amongst your friends.  If you choose the latter option, I recommend the firecracker wings, lettuce wraps, and bĂ©arnaise sliders.

Recently it has been brought to my attention that there has been a dip in the quality of their wait staff.  Honestly it's just one individual that people from my office have complained about, and last Friday I had the unfortunate pleasure of having him as our waiter.  I can now appreciate the frustrations that my colleagues have encountered from dealing with this gentleman.  His name is Michael, and if you have seen the show Arrested Development, I generate the same tone Gob uses when referring to his brother "Michael" when this assholes name oozes its way into a conversation about the Yard House.  Please Yard House GM, if you haven't fired this waiter who is five miles past awful, please put it on the "to do list."


Categories: American (New) , American (Traditional)
Neighborhoods: Northwest, CBD 

Alex Auto Repair Review Aurora, CO

Contact Info:
3596 Moline St
Aurora, CO 80010
(720) 404-0732

There few things that can cause a great sickness to my stomach.  One of the situations that will cause me to make like a dog who as eaten far too much grass is taking my vehicle into a mechanics shop.  I don't like the idea of someone else treating my vehicle in a way that I would never personally handle it.  Touching it vigorously, letting the Ninja Turtles play seven minutes in heaven in the backseat, telling Chewbacca it's okay to watch "Girls Gone Wild" on his eye-pad, in the trunk!  Or whatever happens to ones car when they abandon it at a garage.

 For those of you who first welcomed me to Yelp for the purpose of documenting the police report involving my SUV being stolen by Mile High Muffler and crashed by the owner while on a drug run.  You folks can especially appreciate my distrust in the automotive repair world.

What I can tell you about Alex Auto is that I trust this man with my car.  For those "worst case" scenarios, where pneumatic tools are required or it is flat out something I personally cannot fix, I take my vehicle to Alex.

Category: Auto Repair

inTRICKit Repair Review Aurora, CO

 Contact Info:
600 Telluride St
Denver, CO 80249
(720) 206-6585

Finding out your PS3 has flat lined is an infuriating experience.  Sort of like discovering a dead mouse in your bottle of Miracle Whip.  It's obvious the culprit involving your tainted Miracle Whip can be traced back to your buddy who visited about a month back, but the PS3 problem remains to be resolved.
If you get the Yellow Light of Death or Red Light of Death on PS3, take it over to InTrickit. (They also repair Xbox and Nintendo systems)
For the small fee of $50-$60, they will get your system back in working order, and will even warranty their repairs.  Their location isn't easy to find, they're located in the back of a barbershop across from the AFB entrance.  Well worth the drive for the results and low cost!

 Categories: Mobile Phones, Electronics 

H&R Block Review Aurora, CO

 Contact Info:
5616 Gibraltar St
Aurora, CO 80015
(303) 627-4960

I'm not sure about the rest of you but when I was in high school, I got my first introduction to filing my own taxes. (thanks public school system)  I absolutely despised filing my taxes back then, and 10 years later the thought still makes me more sick to the stomach than the feeling of stepping onto a warm dog turd barefoot on a cool summer evening.  Thankfully I have been able to keep my dry heaves at bay, with the help of Ken Mills at this H&R Block location.
As someone who seeks tax help yearly, I feel very qualified in saying that Ken is one of the best tax preparers I have dealt with.  Each year Ken has helped me get a larger than expected refund by ensuring I declare every possible deduction and avoiding a fearful audit.

The downside, their office is like every other tax preparation office I have entered, it's boring as shit, quiet, full of numbers, people who love numbers, and not one of these peoples name starts with "The Count."  I'm not asking for a hot girl with low self esteem to give me a lap dance during my transaction, just maybe turn on a radio or offer some magazines that don't have a picture of the Olson Twins on the cover; something to pep the place up is all I'm asking.

If you decide that this year you would like a bigger refund, plan on spending at least an hour and a half with Ken, and shelling out around $200 for services rendered.

Cell Block Review

Contact Info:
10731 E Alameda Ave
Aurora, CO 80012
(720) 324-8236

Breaking a cell phone is a frustrating experience, working with these folks trying to get your broken phone fixed; is just god-awful.  Not only did it take these donkeys nearly 5 days to repair my phone but they did a piss poor job on the repair.  The new screen was installed incorrectly and not only is there a sizeable gap between the glass screen and the LCD, but hours after this repair the volume control buttons fell out of my phone.  Spend an extra $40-$60 and go to a store that provides much better customer service and more talented repair technicians.